We all have beliefs and assumptions about relationships. Some are helpful and supportive while others are fundamentally flawed and can get us into trouble. Below is a list of some of the more common beliefs (and behaviours) that create problems in relationships.

  • If you loved me you would know what I want (what I mean).
  • Saying you can’t listen to me right now means you don’t love me.
  • You can’t understand since you don’t feel the same way.
  • You know what would make me happy but you are purposely not doing it.
  • You know how I feel about that issue and should avoid bringing it up.
  • If I hide my feelings and go along as though nothing is wrong, things will get better.
  • If I disagree with you, you won’t love me.
  • Giving in for now and not making waves will get us through this rough spot.
  • The future of our relationship rests on being able to resolve this argument now.
  • If I don’t fight back, you’ll get the best of me.
  • Because we have a difference of opinion, we are incompatible.
  • I’m right and you’re wrong.
  • Rather than bringing up the problem now, I’ll wait and see what happens.
  • I can’t change and/or you can’t change.

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